


Not Anymore

by Jewely



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, At least I tried, Aziraphale Whump (Good Omens), Break Up, Broken Hearts, Crowley Whump (Good Omens), Crowley's Flat (Good Omens), Crying, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/No Comfort, Fanfiction, Feelings, Forced Break Up, Gabriel is a dick, Heaven, Heaven & Hell, Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt/No Comfort, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Post-Canon, Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Sad Azirapahle, Sad Crowley (Good Omens), Sad Ending, ring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:55:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29636352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jewely/pseuds/Jewely
Summary: All Crowley ever wanted was to protect his angel. He would do anything for him. Hurting him even. No matter how unbearable it is.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Not Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to write an angsty piece....  
> Again, I don’t have a beta, and english is not my first language, so sorry for the mistakes ^^” Hope you enjoy it tho UwU 
> 
> Btw... I made a GO edit a while ago. It’s not seen pretty often so... feel free to check it out, but only if you want úwù  
> https://youtu.be/xQ153cYvMS4

> _ Hello Snake,  _
> 
> _ Did you have the chance to relax a bit, after your little show? You and your miserable “angel”?  _
> 
> _ Oh, you will. But we casually found out that you actually became more than best friends with him. Wich is disgusting. You invited him to come today, didn’t you? _
> 
> _ We all still want our revenge; that’s why we and the opposition made a decision.  _
> 
> _ End your relationship with Aziraphale, tell him you don’t ever want to see him again, and none of you will get hurt.  _
> 
> _ If you don’t, and we see you and him together again, he will carry the consequences, and it will be your fault. You don’t want that, do you?  _
> 
> _ What, did you really think we’ll leave you alone without a punishment? _
> 
> _ Well, it was nice chatting with you. Have fun, Crawly. _
> 
> _ Gabriel _

Crowley’s hands were shaking as he read the white letter he found on the eating table of his flat. The demon read it twice, three times, four. 

_ “You invited him to come today, didn’t you?” , “He will carry the consequences” _

Crowley growled in fury and ripped the letter to shreds, burning it’s remains in hellfire. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Before panicking, he checked his black, complex designed watch. Azirapahle will be there in less than ten minutes.

The serpent leaned against the grey, monochrome wall of his flat, sliding down. He tried not to let his tears flow, as he thought of what it would do to the angel, when he actually followed thorough with this.

_ How did they..? Why did they..? Oh, fuck that! I will not break up with Azirapahle. I will not give him up. I will not hurt him. I won’t... _

Then Crowley remembered what the letter said. _“If you don’t, and we see you and him together again, he will carry the consequences, and it will be your fault.”  
_

_ That’s impossible. They think Azirapahle is immune to hellfire. They can’t kill him... Can they? Well, for them, nothing will be speaking against trying hellfire again. Or torturing him. Ripping his wings off. Stinging and cutting him with hell-daggers?  _

_ Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. They will torture him, kill him even. No. I can’t risk that... I can’t.  _

Crowley was fuming. He stood up, yelled and smashed a plant-vase to the floor, turning his head up to the ceiling. “You fucking wankers! And you call yourselves Archangels?! I hate you! All of you!” he screamed, smashing another empty, black, decorative plant-pot to the ground. Again, he leaned against the wall. He couldn’t stand up right. Everything felt dizzy.

The demon grabbed inside of his jeans pocket, and pulled out the little box inside, opening it. He sighed as he looked at the snake-shaped silver ring inside. The serpent couldn’t help but finally let his tears flow. 

Today, Crowley had invited the angel to his flat for a reason. He wanted to ask the question. He wanted to marry Azirapahle. The human way. 

He loved him. Adored him. And he wanted to live with him, together, forever. 

But he won’t be able to ask the question. He would have to hurt him. Hurt his angel. 

To _save_ him.

He wept. This couldn’t be true. This had to be a nightmare. He couldn’t just betray his angel like that. But he wanted him to live, to be healthy. This was the only way.

_ Ding Dong! _

Crowley’s head drove around to the door as he heard the bell. “Crowley dear, it’s me!“ came muffled from outside the door. 

The demon put the ring box aside and stood up. His legs felt like jelly. 

Crowley limped towards the door of his flat, and opened it, to see a cute, plump, pale-haired angel smiling at him. 

“Hello my love!” Azirapahle greeted and kissed Crowley sweetly on the cheek. “I hope I’m not too early! What is the surprise you wanted me to...“ the angel stopped. He seemed to have noticed the wetness on Crowley‘s cheeks. 

The angels face turned from happy, to worried and attend. “Dearest, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Crowley felt the principality’s plump, soft hands cupping his cheeks after closing the door.

“I...” Crowley started. _I can’t. He’s so pure... I love him. No, it’s for his safety. Get it over with. Quick._

The demon already hated himself for doing what he did. He grabbed Azirapahle’s wrists and roughly slapped them away. Almost aggressively. “Don’t touch me.” he snarled. 

Azirapahle gasped, glaring at him, worried. “Crowley, you’re acting strange. Are you hurt?” 

_ Oh, my angel. My beautiful angel. I’m so sorry.  _

“Ang... Azirapahle. This won’t work out anymore.” Crowley said quietly, but strongly. The principality looked at him, confused. “What do you mean, dearest?” - “Don’t ever ‘dearest’ me again.” Crowley answered harshly. _I’m so sorry. Angel I’m so sorry, I love you._

“But... Crowley, what..?” - “It’s over, Azirapahle. We shouldn’t see each other again. The thing between you and me was a big mistake. I’m breaking up with you.” 

Azirapahle ‘s face expression as Crowley spoke this sentence was shattering said demons heart. The angel was furrowing his brows, and his mouth was slightly open in shock and sadness. 

“Wha... what..?” the angel’s voice was shaky. 

“I’m breaking up with you. I don’t want to see you **ever** again. You understand?” Crowley hissed. _No. Angel, I’m so sorry._

Azirapahle was close to tears, his eyes shiny, chin wobbly. “Crowley...What... is somebody forcing you to do this?” - “No. You _alone_ are the problem.” - “What did I do wrong?” Tears started to fall from the angels eyes.

_Nothing. You’ve done nothing wrong. Angel, you’re perfect._ “Everything. You’ve messed **everything** up. You’ve done everything wrong. I don’t want you in my life anymore.” Crowley couldn’t believe what he was saying. But he had to use something as a reason. Azirapahle would ask too much. Maybe _they_ are listening in. _If I tell him the truth, they will hurt him. I would never forgive myself._

“Crowley, please. Tell me what I’ve done wrong! I can change! Please!” Azirapahle cried in despair. Crowley’s eyes were leaking too. But he had to pull himself together, and get this over with.

_Oh, angel, you did nothing wrong, I’m so sorry._ “Get lost, Azirapahle. **Go away!** ” Crowley yelled. “No... But...Crowley... What have... I done? Tell me! Please... I love you!” Azirapahle sobbed, trying to reach for Crowley. 

“I **hate** you.”Crowley hissed.The demon hated himself for saying such terrible things to the only being he _ever_ loved. _No... I love you. So much. I adore you. I_ have _to protect you._

Azirapahle gasped, stepping back. The angel shook his head. “No. You don’t. Crowley you don’t hate me.” he whispered. “I do. I hate you. I was only ever physically attracted to you. I never liked you. You’re **nothing** I need in life, and I’ve realized it now. Get lost.” Crowley wheezed aggressively. 

“Crowley...” - “I said get lost! **Go**! Don’t you dare to come back! Never interact with me again! _**I hate you!**_ ” The serpent took a step forward, raised a hand, and tried to hit the angel. Of course, he let himself miss him.

Azirapahle dodged Crowley’s fist. The principality’s face expression showed nothing but hurt and shock. “Why..? Crowley, why?” - “Never show your face here again! **Bugger off!** ” the demon yelled. 

Azirapahle’s reddened, wet eyes blinked in scare, throwing more tears out. The angel sobbed, opened the door, and ran out of Crowley’s flat, crying. The door closed itself.

Crowley couldn’t tell how much time he was standing there, staring at the flat’s door. Minutes? Hours maybe? It simply felt so unreal. 

He turned around, and looked at the little black ring box on the floor. He stared at it for a while, before kneeling, and grabbing it. _What the hell happened..?_ _I wanted to_ propose _to him. I wanted to show him my love, to ask him if..._

Crowley broke down on the floor, and cried. Holding the box, pressing it to his heart. 

He and Azirapahle had managed so many things together. They had fooled heaven and hell, had helped to prevent the _fucking_ end of the world. They could’ve manage to find a way out of this again. Together. 

“Oh, someone... what have I done..?” Crowley whispered to himself.

The rest of the day, he was laying there, weeping on the floor of his flat, until he cried his eyes hurting. Knowing that he had just unforgivably hurt the _one_ creature he was living for, not even thinking about a way to keep him safe from heaven and hell, without betraying him so terribly.

He had _deeply_ _betrayed_ and _hurt_ his angel. Crowley thought about calling the angel, apologizing, explaining it all. But heaven would see it. They will harm Azirapahle if Crowley did anything.

His eyes were aching from crying, but he couldn’t stop. Azirapahle was his reason to live, the only thing he wanted to protect. The only thing he truly loved and respected.

And at this very day, he respectlessly yelled “I hate you”s at him , almost punching him.

It was too late. It was too late to search for other ways. He’d done it. It was over, their relationship was over. Never would he be able to enjoy their intimacy, the love, and the happy moments between them.  


Aziraphale is not his boyfriend anymore.  


He is not his angel anymore. 

**Author's Note:**

> Eh. I tried :/


End file.
